Midseason Replacement

Earnest Pettie, comedy writer

Internet Scorecard

We’ve all been there: The most stupid disagreement blows up into a full-blown argument, and then you find yourself running to the internet to figure out who was shorter – Gary Coleman or Emmanuel Lewis? Two hours, 75 google searches, and 30 IMs later, you raise your hands in victory. The internet has vindicated you, and you rush off, print-out in hand to rub it in the face of your opponent. The glow fades quickly, though. You’ve won no trophies; there’ll be no one around to appreciate the sheer dexterity required to find the answer you required; and you can only gloat for so long before you notice the volume on the television slowly creeping upward to drown you out.

That’s why I propose Internet Scorecard. It’s a very simple little program that records your the outcomes of arguments with you vs other people. It keeps a running tally of arguments you’ve won, the dates on which they were won, and maybe a snapshot of the page that vindicated you. And maybe, it should be accessible by anyone who is referenced in it, just to keep people honest. I haven’t decided, yet, whether it is something that should be built into one of the internet toolbars, giving you one-click access to recording your triumphs, or a widget for Konfabulator. Either way, I’m absolutely incapable of doing either.

What can I say? I’m just a guy trying to make the world a more just place, one smug geek at a time.

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This entry was posted on July 25, 2006 by in Uncategorized.

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