Midseason Replacement

Earnest Pettie, comedy writer

Post Labor Day New Products

It’s almost Labor Day, which we all know means it’s time for the administration to begin rolling out new products. Since the lineup for the new fall line is not quite set in stone, I have a few prototypes at which I’d like to offer the administration first crack.

White House Caulk: Porous only when it’s in your best interest.
Crawford Mini-blinds: Keeps out 15% more sunlight, 30% more reality and 100% more Sheehan.
Karl’s Deroverant: Never let ‘em see you sweat. (Not for use by people without something to hide)
Rummy’s Smug Check: Guaranteeing that you’re always in compliance with federal, state, and local smug guidelines.
GOP Red Ink: Get it by the gallon.

While many of you may have read the internet rumors of the White House’s introducing Iraq’s Constitution – theocracy with a splash of democracy, the latest word is that is has been pushed back. Look for it in time for Christmas with an entirely different ad campaign: In God we Trust… and repress women.


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This entry was posted on July 25, 2006 by in Uncategorized.

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