Midseason Replacement

Earnest Pettie, comedy writer

This week’s news in advance

More Chinese-manufactured toys will be recalled on Thursday when Mattel discovers a defect in one of their toys that will cause them to emit a vaporous gas that brainwashes children into attempting to assassinate the President. Also, the gas may contain unsafe amounts of lead.

Michael Vick’s problems will be compounded when he admits to using steroids… on his dogs. He will plead guilty on dogfighting charges. What a waste. A former who’s who, Heisman nominee, and even voted Most Likely To Succeed…O.J. Simpson in Football Infamy.

In an effort to become a better mother, Britney Spears will begin homeschooling her children. Of course, things get off to a bumpy start when, instead of teaching them their ABC’s, she begins teaching them their DUI’s.

Tags: , , , , , , ,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on August 20, 2007 by in Uncategorized.

Cool Links

%d bloggers like this: