Earnest Pettie, comedy writer
Jesse Jackson has gone to lengthy measures to apologize to Barack Obama for something he said about Senator Obama recently. Fox News mics picked up Jackson’s statements, but it wasn’t entirely clear what the Reverend said. Luckily, I am well-versed in Jacksonian english, so allow me to transcribe for you:
From the pulpit and the vestible,
I will cut his testicles to the vesicles.
God said, y’all shall take his balls, nuts and all
He told me in a conference call.
Can I get an A’men?
Not caught on Fox News’s live mic was someone’s response: Why can’t you ever make sense when you talk? It’s like you have false alzheimers! Everything you say makes no sense, but we know you’re fully capable of thinking. How else could you rhyme all the time? Now you’ve got me doing it!